Advice for relatives

If you have decided to seek help and advice, the advice centers can help you with a wide range of services.

In the counselling centres, you will receive information on how

• to recognize addiction,
• how addiction develops,
• how best to behave towards those affected,
• how to better manage difficult conversational situations,
• Not letting your life be determined by the addiction of a person affected,
• Finding self-help groups for relatives,
• Dealing with physical and psychological complaints caused by the strain,
• Finding further help, for example from psychologists or family counseling.

You do not need to bring any documents with you to take part in a consultation.

The family counseling process is straightforward. Contact the relevant office in person, by phone or by email and arrange an appointment.

In a conversation with your advisor, you can describe your situation and look for possible solutions together. Even if it takes effort, there are many people in your situation: a consultation is a first step towards overcoming your situation.

Important: The people you have contact with during the consultation are subject to a legal duty of confidentiality. If you wish, counseling can also be completely anonymous.

Counseling for relatives at public, church or non-profit organizations is usually free of charge.

No matter what addiction you are confronted with by a relative: It is important that you seek help and advice in good time. Many relatives feel helpless and powerless. Some become ill themselves or are desperate because they cannot help the addict. If you have the feeling that you cannot cope with the situation on your own, or you generally need professional advice, you should seek counseling.

There are very different addictions, and of course the effects are also different. In principle, however, 6 characteristics can be defined that apply to all addiction groups. If 3 or more of these apply, there is a high probability of addiction.

Characteristic 1: Strong craving

Addicts constantly think about their addictive substance or addictive behavior - no matter what addiction it is. The drug is always present.

Characteristic 2: Loss of control

Affected individuals lose control over when they engage in their addictive behavior or consume their addictive substance and how often they do so.

Characteristic 3: Inability to abstain

It is no longer possible to abstain from addictive substances or addictive behavior. Even painful consequences, such as damage to health or the breakup of relationships, do not stop the person from using the addictive substance or engaging in the addictive behavior.

Characteristic 4: Tolerance

Your loved one increases the dose or frequency of the addictive substance use or addictive behavior in order to experience the same effect on themselves.

Characteristic 5: Withdrawal symptoms

Without addictive substances, withdrawal symptoms such as sweating, tremors or cramps, pain, sleep disorders and hallucinations occur. Behavioral addictions such as gambling or media addiction, for example, are characterized by aggression or severe nervousness.

Characteristic 6: Withdrawal from social life

Family and friends, work, sports training or hobby groups become increasingly less important.

The term co-dependency is often used to describe the fact that, for example, relatives are also affected by the addiction. Relatives of addicts can often consciously or unconsciously reinforce the addiction. This happens, for example, when parents lend money to children who are addicted to gambling or husbands excuse their alcoholic partner from their employer due to illness. They often play down the problems of the person concerned and trivialize the addiction. Co-dependents want to protect their relatives and control the addiction. They often become socially isolated themselves. Their efforts to care for the addicted person cause their own lives to spiral out of control and their own needs to take a back seat. This also has health consequences for many co-dependents.

Important: The term co-dependency is also criticized because it does not do justice to the complex and individual stressful situation in which partners, children or parents of addicts find themselves. It is often said that relatives are given a certain amount of blame for the disease with this term, as their behavior tends to promote or cover up the addiction.

Therapeutic treatment can significantly improve a person's situation and state of mind. Relatives of addicts, for example, can learn how to deal with the situation and recognize their own behavioural patterns. You should discuss whether therapy makes sense for you personally with a therapist of your choice.

In many places, there are addiction self-help groups specifically for relatives or joint groups for addicted people and their relatives. Here you can meet people with similar experiences and find out that you are not alone with your problems. Feel free to ask about such a group if you are seeking advice for relatives.