Counselling for Family and Friends

If you have decided to seek help and advice, the advice centers can help you with a wide range of services.

Among other things, the advice centers will provide you with information on how to

• You can recognize an addiction,
• How addiction develops,
• The best way to behave towards those affected,
• You can cope better with difficult conversational situations,
• You do not let your life be determined by the addiction of a person affected,
• You can find self-help groups for relatives,
• You can deal with physical and psychological complaints caused by the stress,
• You can find further help, for example from psychologists or family counseling.

You do not need to bring any documents with you to make use of counselling services.

Counselling for family and friends is simple. Get in touch with your local counselling service provider personally, by phone or by e-mail and arrange an appointment.

During your meeting with your counsellor, you can discuss your situation and work together to find a possible solution. It may take some effort, but remember there are many people in the same situation as you. Seeking out counselling is the first step to dealing with your situation. 

It’s also important to remember that the people you talk to as part of the counselling are subject to doctor-patient confidentiality. Counselling can also be provided completely anonymously if desired.

Counselling for family and friends is usually free of charge when provided by public services, religious organisations or charities. 

Regardless of the addiction you are dealing with, it is important that you seek support and assistance sooner rather than later. Many family members and friends of people suffering from addiction can feel helpless and powerless. Some can even become ill or distressed themselves because they are unable to help the person suffering from the addiction. If you feel that you cannot cope with the situation on your own or if you require professional advice, you should seek out a counselling service.

There are all manner of addictions, each with their own effects and consequences. Generally speaking, all addictions have six things in common. If three or more of these factors apply, there is a high probability that the person concerned is suffering from addiction.

1: Strong cravings

People with addictions think about the substance or activity to which they are addicted constantly – regardless of what it is. It is always present in their minds.

2: Loss of control

People with addictions have no control over when or how often they consume their addictive substance or engage in their addictive activity.

3: Inability to say no

People with addictions are no longer able to go without their addictive substance or activity. Even painful consequences such as health issues or the breakdown of relationships do not stop the person suffering from the addiction from consuming the addictive substance or engaging in the addictive activity.

4: Establishing tolerance

People with addictions increase the dose or frequency of consumption or engagement in their addictive activity to maintain the same “rush”.

5: Withdrawal symptoms

Withdrawal from addictive substances leads to symptoms such as sweating, shaking, cramps, pain, insomnia and hallucinations. In the case of addictive behaviours such as addiction to gambling or media, withdrawal symptoms can also include aggression and nervous disposition.

6: Retreating from social life

Family and friends, work, sporting activities and hobbies increasingly lose their significance.

Co-dependency is often used to describe a situation in which family members or friends are also affected by the addiction. Family and friends of people suffering from an addiction can often make addictions worse, either consciously or unwittingly. Examples of this include parents loaning their gambling-addicted children money or spouses calling in sick for work on behalf of their alcoholic partner. Often they can trivialise the problems of the person concerned and downplay the addiction. Co-dependants are keen to protect their family member or friend and control the addiction. Often they themselves will often become isolated socially. Concern regarding the person suffering from the addiction can result in family members and friends seeing their own lives spiral out of control and their own needs fading into the background. This can also lead to co-dependants suffering from their own health-related consequences.

Note: The term “co-dependency” is controversial as it does not take into account the complexities and intricacies of situations partners, children or parents of people suffering from addiction find themselves in. One of the main points of criticism is that the term apportions a certain amount of blame for the addiction as it implies that the behaviour of the “co-dependant” tends to facilitate or conceal the addiction.

Therapy or treatment can significantly improve the situation and mental health of the person concerned. Family and friends of people suffering from an addiction can learn how to deal with the situation and spot their own pattern of behaviours. You should talk to a therapist about whether therapy is worth considering.

Addiction self-help groups that are specifically aimed at family members and friends, or groups made up of people suffering from addiction and their family or friends, are very common and can be found in most towns and cities. These groups are a place where people with similar experiences can meet and see that they are not alone with their problems. Ask about self-help groups when you seek out addiction counselling for family and friends.